"to know what you are, would take a lifetime"

My friend Zac wrote the following, and it seems like a good entry for this particular blog:

what is it "to know"?

how do we establish what is right and wrong and know the correct course of action?

one of Webster's definitions

know:to be aware of the truth or factuality of : be convinced or certain of

this is how we most commonly use the word. Another definition given by Webster's is: to perceive directly : have direct cognition of (2): to have understanding of knowing oneself> (3): to recognize the nature of : discern b (1): to recognize as being the same as something previously known (2): to be acquainted or familiar with (3): to have experience of

so by the first definition the word is used in absolute terms. if something is known it is understood fully or infallible. by the second definition it is something previouslt experienced, understood, or similar to something else known...not quite as concrete.

anyway, the reason this question "what does it mean to know something?" comes up is...

how does one select the proper course of actions in their life? they obviously must base their decisions on what they "know", be it the people in their lives, the events, knowledge of circumstances. but all of these theing come back to what we know, or more importantly, what we think we know.

absolutely nothing can be known ansolutely (kinda sounds like the phrase "never say never") So if we understand that nothing can be truely known we admit that all of our decicions are based on what we think we know. We must act on information that we choose to be correct or things that we choose to beleive. But why do we choose to beleive if we cannot be certain without any shadow of a doubt? Because we have faith. We have faith that the odds are in our favor, that the science will back up the facts, that the people we trust will come though, and that our god will be there as we were taught. Any or all of these are how we defend the choices we make from the attacks of our own minds, of our own doubts.

at some point we must act. damn the incessant voices of self doubt. we must act and truley know that what we did was right because we have faith in ourselves and everything that supports us because if we don't we will be torn apart by our own minds.

It is a new year. Welcome to 2009. A lot happened in 2008, but a lot more will happen in 2009. For starters I graduate in 4 months and 3 days. Then it's off to the real world I go complete with a full time job and a place of my own (hopefully at least). As the new year sets in, I've decided to be one of those people who makes a new year's resolution, but they are less of resolutions and more of goals. Goals for the semester, that will hopefully spill over into my life after school. I've decided to post them around my room and hopefully I will see them everydya and so it will help me accomplish them. Some of them are concrete and others are more abstract. I will post them at the end.

As I said, next up in life begins the real world. I did a lot of thinking over break, and although I had been considering Teach for America vs. getting a job, i decided getting a job would be better. I've decided that I'm going to try to avoid things that are just prolonging the future b/c I am too scared. That's all that would be. I thought long and hard about places that I wouldn't mind living and have decided to concentrate mainly in the St. Louis area, but as my mother pointed out, I should explore all my contacts b/c those might lead to something amazing. I also decided that getting a job is the priority and a dream job would be nice, but is not necessary or even necessarily attainable right out of school.

To know oneself is very difficult, and it is possible that you can go through life never knowing yourself fully. I don't want to be one of those people. I believe everything happens for a reason, whether to teach you something, or lead you somewhere, the trick is figuring out which. So that is my next step in this crazy mixed up time we call young adulthood. I've been told many times, everything will work it's way out like it's supposed to. Now comes the hard part... waiting.

"I am who I choose to be. I always have been what I chose -- though not always what I pleased." -- Lois McMaster Bujold

"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." -- Epictetus

Goals:

Eat 2 cooked meals a week
Graduate Cum Lade
Send out at least 10 resumes/follow-up on at least 10 connections a month
Step out of your comfort zone when applying to jobs
Start learning how to save and budget now
Work first, play later
Reward yourself for a job well done
Have an amazing Spring break
Go to Colorado for Joana's graduation
No speeding tickets
Stress is not worth your time and energy
No drama! (Especially boy drama, they aren't worth it)
Be open to new ideas
Work out 3 times a week (work does not count)
Live, Laugh, and Love more